After stumbling through my explanation, my daughter asked a question, “Is this because Daddy smokes cigarettes?”

To this day I am not sure of my answer; I only remember being washed over with the heat of shame and embarrassment, and pangs of anger at my husband for putting me in this position. As I attempted to compose myself, my 9-year-old rescued me from the struggle by adding, “Okay, can we get pancakes now?”

After breakfast, I drove for 4 hours in a mostly silent car, grateful for the portable movie player that entertained my daughters. I wondered how much they really understood, and a way to continue the conversation in a way that would help us all understand each other in this moment. When we visited the center for the day, my children and I met other families, other children who were visiting too, and we were introduced to the staff of the children’s program. We toured their children’s facilities and saw kids laughing and having a good time. It was then that I agreed to let my children participate in a program offered for kids ages 7-12. And a week or two late we returned to participate in a 4-day workshop for children growing up with a family member struggling with addiction.

I stewed over my decision to enroll my daughters in the children’s program, I still believed that before the pancake-day conversation, my children had no idea about my husband’s cocaine and alcohol addiction. I wondered if the information they would learn would be damaging to them, after all what should 10-year-olds know about addiction? I did not want to give them too much information, and was afraid that they would hate their dad.

During the course of the program, we all grew closer as we gained skills to communicate about the challenges we faced. I learned how to talk to my children about their experiences and their feelings. I realized that my children knew far more than I thought about what was happening in our home, but lacked the vocabulary and framework to express themselves in a healthy way. Their understanding was illustrated in the form of their dad’s absence at little league games, and his propensity for sleeping on the sofa for hours in he middle of the day. They knew there was a problem, but no one was talking about it. They were relieved when they were given the information and allowed to share their experiences. It was evident to me that they were affected, but also that they were so willing to forgive Daddy and have him be well again.

The program offered all of us a new language to talk about the disease, its effects, and the importance of each of us taking care of ourselves. The language and ability of separating the disease from their dad was critical, as this distinction allowed them to love him, yet be angry when the disease was in control. I was careful to explain that their father’s disease was not their fault, and it was not their responsibility to fix him. We practiced self-care activities and talked about setting healthy boundaries. I surrounded them with safe people with whom they could talk to, and I reminded them that these were other kids who had parents with the same disease of addiction. I encouraged them to share their feelings and validated what they shared. This was all I could do to help them through our experiences, and I am grateful that there were professionals who taught me these skills in the children’s program.

Everything we learned in the children’s program served us well as the years followed on a pathway marked with recovery, relapse, and the eventual tragic death of their dad to the disease of addition. His was a great loss for all of us, but we understood the power of the disease and used the tools acquired in the weekend program to cope and persevere. When Rod died, the girls and I vowed to use our experiences to help other families, and thus began the dream for PITCH 4 KIDZ. PITCH 4 KIDZ is our gift that was born out of our family decision to not hide in shame and secrecy, and use our voices to share with others what we have learned on this journey.

Rod will live forever in our hearts, forever in our family, as will the gifts we learned of how to battle the disease of addiction that took him from us.

To read articles or watch videos about our story, and the PITCH 4 KIDZ program, please see the Media Section of our website.

Stacey Beck, MC LAC LASAC
Executive Director, PITCH 4 KIDZ
Wife of former Major League Baseball Pitcher, Rod Beck

The post Creating HOPE out of a Tragic Loss appeared first on Pitch4Kidz.

PITCH 4 KIDZ focus is providing families with information, skills and resources to help navigate the challenges of family addiction. One in four children is significantly impacted by a parent’s substance abuse, and without interventions the affects can alter their emotional, educational and social experiences. We are here to help. The reality is that KIDZ often feel alone when someone they love struggles with substances, our hope is that this website unties families and the community in reducing the shame and stigma associated with the disease of addiction. You are not alone.

This is our official first blog entry, and we are looking forward to communicating with more people in the community about our program and current hot topics in the addiction/trauma fields. The blog will also be a place for sharing ideas and messages of hope for families struggling with the disease of addiction. We want to address topics that are important to you, so please contact us if you have a topic you would like to know more about!

From a practical perspective, the new site enables us to share information on PITCH 4 KIDZ programming and dates with downloadable registration forms and marketing materials. We are hoping this makes the registration process easier for families. We know that what we do is unusual, so information about the program and FAQs are also provided.

Donations and sponsorships make it possible for us to provide quality programming to ALL children who could benefit from the curriculum content. Therefore, donor and fundraising pages are provided on the site with updated information on ways people can participate and contribute to this important work.

At PITCH 4 KIDZ, we are always learning and incorporating the latest research in addiction and trauma/resilience studies into our programming and trauma-informed approach. We find that knowledge helps healing and we are looking forward to making the latest information available on our website. We have tried to incorporate numerous local and national resources to help families and professionals learn more about the disease of addiction, trauma, and the importance of resilience.

We are super excited about the KIDZ ZONE. It has been designed especially for KIDZ to find information and reinforce concepts learned in the 3-Day Weekend Workshop. A component of resilience building is “expecting well,” and we have plans to expand this section of the site with guest speaker input on various kid-friendly topics to help KIDZ explore their hopes and dreams for the future!

In addition to the new website, we are introducing our new logo designed by Xpleo Media! This is a new adventure for us, and we invite your feedback on the new logo.

And finally, an extra-special THANK YOU to Xpleo Media for their generous input, insight, and talent in all aspects of our website design and building experience. The staff listened to our ideas, patiently educated us about the process, and helped us turn our piles of brainstorming papers into a website that is both functional and beautiful!

We hope you enjoy spending time at the new PITCH 4 KIDZ website!

The post Welcome to the new PITCH 4 KIDZ website! appeared first on Pitch4Kidz.